Did you hear that Impact My Life: Biblical Mentoring Simplified
and the companion Study Guide are available on Amazon for FREE?
Click here to download the Book!
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And head over to More to Be for more free resources.
More than ten years ago, I had the opportunity to experience life coaching as a part of my work experience, having no idea what would be involved and even being a little skeptical of the potential outcome. But after meeting with my coach over the course of few months, I could physically and emotional see the results. She was able to help me hone in on a vision for my particular job and gave me both the encouragement and accountability that I desperately needed. As I walked away from that experience, I remember thinking, “Maybe one day I’ll become a coach.”
But alas, I was in the midst of the early years with my little ones and about to give birth to two more! So I tabled the coaching idea, even though it never left the back of my mind. Over the years, I’d come across information about coaching, but either it was too expensive or too time consuming, until I found Life Breakthrough Academy — right when I was actively seeking God for the next step in my ministry as well as career.
Choosing to become a coach was literally one of the best decisions I ever made (with my husband, of course). We both wholeheartedly agree that God used the training to radically transform the way I connect with others, especially with our children. The training even spilled over onto my husband, as I shared what I was learning and he was able to put it into practice, too.
As I continue to coach women, and also teach the very same Life Breakthrough Training Course that changed my life — I marvel at the gift this is from God. Yes, I am so glad I became a life coach, and continually give thanks to Him for the opportunity to use life coaching to co-laboring with Him in His work. This is why…
Yes, life coaching has given me the evidence to see that God is at work, even when I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have to fix someone’s problems. That’s God’s job! I simply get to co-labor with Him as I pray for my client and ask questions to help discover His purposes and answers. My perspective of God’s sovereignty is no doubt due to my coaching experiences.
As a coach, I’ve had to gain the skill of holding my tongue while considering the best questions to ask. This has radically affected my parenting and, I believe, by God’s grace, is the number one reason I have a great relationship with my tween and teen daughters.
Through the training, I learned the difference between closed and open ended questions, and how to use questions to draw people out and encourage them to draw neared to the Lord. Obtaining this skill has greatly impacted my parenting, marriage, mentoring, and work relationships!
Owning my own business satisfies my desire to use my hands and mind for the glory of God. I love that I get to set my own hours while also bringing in a income that blesses my family. The best part is that coaching is fixed to a session, without any additional work hours, so I can grab an hour here and there for clients, without it being a burden to my family.
I’ve always enjoyed helping others and brainstorming solutions with friends, which is why I often thought of becoming a counselor. However, I am super sensitive and can get weighed down by the deep problems others face. Since coaching is about growth from an emotionally healthy place, and not counseling which deals with healing from past hurts and wounds, I’m usually not weighed down after a session.
Training courses are available for solo or group instruction! Check out the opportunities here and sign up for courses here. The next group course starts on May 16th at 9 am EST. If you have questions, please drop me an email at elisa at elisapulliam dot com.
Listening is an art form as much as it is a skill. It is also a gift to bestow on those we love. There is nothing like being heard to level everyone’s love language into one common playing field. But in our self-absorbed culture, it is rare to find someone who knows how to listen intentionally. Think about it.
When was the last time you felt really heard?
And may I ask, when was the last time you really listened?
I know how hard it is, even as a life coach trained in the skill of listening. It is ingrained in our post-modern beings to railroad conversations with me-myself-and-I statements. Our children incessantly interrupt us and each other. Yes — even in my family! The more my husband and I grow aware of how often our children cut each other off, the more passionate we are becoming about returning back to the basics of manners. But my oh my, the focus and discipline that takes. It means we — the mama and papa — need to set the example in our own behavior. We even need to go as far as setting the stage for good old fashion conversation, without screens distracting our attention, as we engage our children in conversation and the art of listening.
I do believe one generation after another has crumbled in their communication skills and that the state of our relationships reflects the trend. We can blame it on technology, but that’s not going to stop the curve.
So will you join me with a renewed commitment in practicing the art of communication through improving your listening skills?
Literally, slow down the words that are coming out of your month and ease up on the multitasking going on in your space and mind.
Bring your words to a complete halt and also quiet your spirit as you turn your attention to focus on the other person.
Redirect your body position toward the person you should be listening to, and if need be, move into a new space to connect together.
Listening is a physical act that requires eye contact, so look at the other person and notice their eyes, body language, and words.
What is the other person saying? Ask questions — that don’t begin with”why” — to help uncover their story.
As you listen, pay attention to what they are saying by restating what you hear.
As you are listening, notice your body language. Are you pulling back or sitting in a judgmental way? Use your body to communicate you care!
If you want to share something personal, which you think may be helpful, ask permission before doing so.
To be an effective listener often means restraining yourself from seizing the moment to teach a point or principle. Those lessons are better learned when a person is in a teachable spirit and asks to be taught.
A good listener needs to forget that they have a story to share, even though that is a natural and good desire, and embrace the role of being a servant — like Christ did — through offering themselves as an attentive listener.
In the same way Christ gave himself up for us — for our benefit and in obedience to our Father in Heaven — we also need to see listening as a sacrificial gift we give to others. It requires giving up ourselves and our agenda in order to acknowledge the needs of those who desperately long to be heard.
If you are that person — longing to be heard — turn to the Lord and ask Him to meet that need for you in whatever way He ordains. It may be through drawing you closer to Him, or it may come in the form of a person ready to give you the gift of listening.
Listening is one of those things a life coach is trained to do.
If you’d like to book a free consultation session to learn more, please email elisa at elisapulliam dot com.
I know your time is precious, so thank you for coming by. I hope you'll join me on this journey of seeking Christ, the transformer of lives, one faith step at a time.
As a trained and certified Life Breakthrough Coach, I'm available to come alongside you to help you get unstuck and see real change happen. For information about being coached or how to get trained as a coach, please ask me! To win free life coaching, click here.
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