4 Communication Tips to Improve Any Relationship

It is amazing to me how hard we have to work at communicating well.

I often throw up my hands and think, “God, does it really have to be this difficult?” 

Whether it is working through a misunderstanding with my husband, negotiating through a conflict amongst my children, or responding thoughtfully with a coaching client whose trying to achieve life balance, communicating well is an essential skill that requires constant effort.

4 Communication Tips to Improve Any Relationship

Over the last few weeks in our home, mounting tensions over the end of the school year impacted by a family medical crisis and a haphazard schedule has forced us back to drawing board when it comes to how we communicate. In order to help focus on loving each other with our words, we’ve been focusing on communicating carefully and intentionally. By God’s grace, I’ve come up with a way to help us remember four key communication principles:  timing, tone, technique, and truth!  It’s been so helpful, I had to share it with you…


The Four “Ts” of Communication

As you find yourself in the middle of a conflict with a loved one, colleague, or child, consider these four communication principles — and the questions that go with each — to help you to decide what to say, when to say it, and how to respond.  As a mom, take the time to teach these principles to your kids and encourage them to put them into practice as they work towards get along with their siblings and friends.


  • Is this a good time to bring this up, as I consider the location, environment, and time we have to talk?
  • Is this a good time to bring this up, considering the state of my heart and emotions at the moment?
  • Is this a good time for me to express my thoughts, opinions, and bias, in light of what they are going through?


  • What is the tone in my voice?
  • What is the tone of my body language?
  • What is the tone of my heart?
  • What is the overall tone of our relationship?
  • What is the overall tone of the environment we’re in at this moment?


  • Am I using a compliment sandwich, starting with one compliment, then one constructive point, followed by another authentically positive statement?
  • Am I being careful to not use words like “always” and “never” to describe how I feel?
  • Am I owning my own stuff and not blaming others or playing victim?


  • Is what I am saying a truth that lines up with Scripture?
  • Is what they are saying to me a truth that I need to hear even if their timing, tone, and technique is off?
  • Is it possible for me to be teachable, in spite of how I feel, and apply this truth to my life?

Conflict is a part of life and communication is a skill we all have to work on — daily. God calls us to live in peace with everyone, if at all possible, so make the effort to choose your words carefully and respond to the truth humbly (Hebrews 12:14). I know it is hard {ahem, really hard}, but it will be worth the investment of your time! I do pray these four tips for improving communication will be blessing to you. Feel free to print out a copy for free!

 The 4 "Ts" of Communication




Come Join Me at the Kaleo Agency

The Kaleo Agency is part of a long-term dream to offer coaching, coach training, and leadership development to women as well as students and organizations all under one brand. I’m offering the same services you’ll find here, simply in a new place . . . so come on over to the Kaleo Agency!


  1. I love your easy to follow and encouraging advise.

  2. This is so practical and helpful! Thank you!

  3. I love how you sum up these concepts so succinctly and memorably. I am creating a short lesson for Teaching Assistants at my university that addresses how to communicate with professors. Would it be alright to link this site and paraphrase your Four T’s, for teaching purposes only?

    All the best,

  4. This is amazingly beautiful. It’s deceptively simple. Thank you for sharing this with the world.

  5. According to my experience, the most fruitful conversations I had were those when I have listened cautiously the other person. In that way, I was able to fully grasp that person’s words and react in a positive manner.

Leave a Reply